he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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