i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
