That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
