I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
