I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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