so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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