How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
