I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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