i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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