First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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