That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
