32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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