I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
