You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Just cropdusted the office
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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