I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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