He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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