five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
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