Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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