R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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