I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
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