im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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