No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
