dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Randomize
