Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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