So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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