Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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