i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
