Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
