Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
