i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i drank out of a bidet.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm just crazy horny about you
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
