I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
That reminds me...we need to get swords
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
