Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize