I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
