literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm at about main and main street
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
