So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
