Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Yo dont text me then not text me
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
