Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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