i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize