i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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