No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
