he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
