That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
