I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I am puke
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
