she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
