Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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