i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We left an ass print on the piano.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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