I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
