Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
