the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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