I want to stick my p in your. b.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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