CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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