Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
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