Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
