Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
