I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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