So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize
