Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
handjob tips. give me some.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
