Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
