it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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