I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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