Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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