the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I think weed is turning my hair brown
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
