I need help removing her.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
